Lyrics

The Plague
Tekst og melodi: Hanne Mjøs Persen og Anlaug Fantoft Grutle

I have a problem with bodily odeur
and my hair does not shine like before
I say all the wring things even when I try my best
People shun me like I am a pest

I never can help but to let out a fart
People want to be two meters apart
Social distance is all that I’ve seen
People treat me like I’m covid-19

I never had a friend in my life
not counting those I threatened with a knife
so if you come close to me just a second of the night
I will cling to you like a parasite

My rumour precedes me, people know
that I am exactly what they see
When I start conversations, people answer me real vague
and they look at me like I am the Plague

Folks turn away at the smell of my breath
like the air would induce their death
If I come to near, nervous smiles will increase
like I am a contagious disease

I never had a friend in my life
not counting those I threatened with a knife
so if you come close to me just a second of the night
I will cling to you like a parasite

Friday Fun
Tekst og melodi: Anlaug Fantoft Grutle og Hanne Mjøs Persen

(Trekkspel-intro)

It was finally Friday
I needed a drink
Life is a party
and I’d been banging my shrink
I put on my best dress
and drank me some rum
I walked down the street and
I started to hum:

The night’s when I go out to play
Let other people keep the day
I’ll drink ‘till I am proper drunk
And dance with my badonkadonk

I was loaded with cash
and the night was still young
I rocked my sweet outfit
and wearing a thong
The bar was before me
I was thirsty as hell
The bartender smiled
He new what I liked well

He poured me a whiskey
and I studied his ass
It looked as refined as
what was in my glass
I yelled “Hey good lookin’,
let’s go hump in the john!”
Then for some strange reason
he wanted me gone

The night…

I stopped by a table
there was people drinking wine
I took a glass and drank it
Some lady said “that’s mine!”
I reached for more
but stumbled to the floor
A nice man helped me up
and then kicked me out the door

(klagesang)x2

The night… x2

I sat down to smoke
A girl asked me for a light
I chivalrously offered it
without giving her a fight
I reached out a lit match
made a glorious flare
The flame avoided her cigarette
but took a liking to her hair

There was yelling and screaming
as I admired the view
There was something pretty about
the burning hairs hue
I luckily snapped out of it
as a fist hit my face
and decided to leave
while I still had some grace

The night… x2
(Vakker og nydelig instrumental)

Anne Pedersdotter
Tekst og melodi: Hanne Mjøs Persen

Let the flames embrace my body,
let them feast upon my flesh
Let the smoke from this unholy fire spread
from here to Marrakesh.
I am no fucking daughter of Satan,
I am the devils favourite lover
so listen closely as I cast this curse,
for it will stain your soul forever.

Instrumental

Some people I have a disgust for.
Some live, and some of them die.
I’m not sure how all my potions worked out,
that I made some, I will not deny.
Your allegations are sometimes wild.
You say that I killed a child.
In this town children die,
some still while they crawl
I did certainly not kill them all.

The clouds will hang over you thick and grey,
you may never again see the light of day.
Thunder and lightning will strike this town
you will never be safe even if you stay home.

Mr. Buckscott, you claim I killed your wife.
but I swear upon my life
that the potion of death that I brought to your house,
was meant for you, not ever your spouse!
I must admit that was a bit careless,
but I’ve had my lesson learned
so listen whilst
my body burns
here comes the curse I think you earned

As never again anyone will love you
no one will anymore touch you or hold you
you will become more eager to drink
and your little grey penis will shrivel and shrink

My dear neighbour, you accuse me
of killing your peartree,
I must confess, wholeheartedly,
that tree was bothering me.
It took the sun for the best part of day,
I could not let it stand in my way.
By this much discussed peartree,
more often than not,
is where I emptied my chamber pot.

My dear neighbour, you’ve upset me,
and I can not let that go,
so I damn your wondrous garden
there will nothing ever grow
your grass will turn to moss, and your roses will be brown
and all the trees and bushes let their withered leaves fall down

“GREETINGS FROM KRAMPUS!”
Tekst og melodi: Hanne Mjøs Persen

AT LAST IT HAS COME TO THIS TIME OF YEAR.
WHEN DARKNESS SURROUNDS US;
CHRISTMAS IS HERE!

When the sun goes down and you don’t see the day
you know evil spirits are on their way.
You know if they catch you, you won't get away
so you light every window to keep them at bay.

And all little children have something to fear
as the most frightful creature is coming near
if you did something naughty I’ll soon be there
better do as you’re told this time of year

I WILL LIFT YOU UP BY JUST ONE LEG
AND PUT YOU INTO THIS STINKING OLD BAG!

I love when you’re naughty to say the least,
I need little souls for my christmas feast
I don’t listen to pardons, I know what you did,
because after all, I am a beast

Instrumental

MY NAME IS KRAMPUS; AND I’VE COME FOR YOU
WHO DID NOT DO WHAT YOU WERE TOLD TO DO

Did you pick your nose? Put your hand in your hose?
Did you pinch your little sister, or make too much noise?

When you went to the toilet, did you wash your hands?
If you said something rude, did you make amends?
If not, little child, boo-hoo, boo-hoo
you know the old Krampus is coming for you

When the sun comes up and the night turns to day
your mother will find you’ve been taken away
no body will know what has happened to you
they will simply forget you.
Bo-hoo, bo-hoo.

NAUGHTY CHILDREN;
IT WILL NOT HELP YOU TO SLEEP WITH A LIGHT
KRAMPUS WILL CERTAINLY GET YOU TONIGHT!

We love men
Tekst: ANlaug Fantoft Grutle og Hanne Mjøs Persen
Melodi: Anlaug Fantoft Grutle

We love it when you feed us
and we love it when you need us

We love it when you clean
and your laugh when we are mean

We love it when you cry
just because we fucked a guy

We love men (do do do do do)
We love men (do do do do do)

We love your unshaved armpits
and your poorly hidden mantits

We love to be your venusänd your big throbbing…arms

We love your timid no
when we know you are a hoe

We love men (do do do do do)
We love men (do do do do do)

Kiss our feet
you hot piece of meat
Dance a sexy dance
Prance, I say prance

We love your shattered shyness
as we grab you by the penis

We love the feisty hunt
and to catch you with our cunt

We love your embrace
as we sit on your face

We love men (do do do do do)
We love men (do do do do do)

Instrumental solo

We love that you pray
when you’re watching us slay

We love your twitching eye
when we tell you just to die

We love that you have balls
enough to take our calls

We love men (do do do do do
) We love men (do do do do do)
We love men (do do do do do)
We love men (do do do do do)

BALLS!

Virginia Lee

This is the tale of Virginia Lee
They found her dead body
underneath an oak tree
Her body was there
but her spirit was not
She knew what had happened
She never forgot

Her spirit was hungry
Her spirit was mean
Her spirit would righten
the wrongs she had seen
The ghost of Virginia
had made up her mind
She’d find all wrongdoers
She wouldn’t be kind

The fuckers would feel
all the pain she had felt
The fuckers would tremble
At the force of her belt
Her cold heart felt hot
as she visioned their cries
and how they would suffer
because of their lies
The first one she haunted
was a man they called Bart
He popped her sweet cherry
then broke her young heart
For this heinous crime
she’d him ride like a mare
Steal all of his sanity
Leave nothing to spare

Virginia Lee she showed mercy to none,
and so Mary felt as her children was gone
She had as a child told her
“No, I won’t play”
For this Mary’s kids
would no more see the day

As her effort in music
was graded with F
her poor music teacher
would find herself deaf
The dumb fuck who once stole her bicycle seat
could bike ride no more
‘cause she cut off his feet
Virginias killer was trembling
with fear
He saw all that happened
around him so clear
He begged for his life
as Virginias ghost
arrived in her chambers
and made him her host

“Sweetheart forgive me”
he cried on his knees
“You know that I loved you,
just spare my life please!”
“You didn’t spare mine”
she roared with rage from the deep
“Now face your fate husband, you’re mine and you I’ll keep”

As night turned to day
our dark spirit was gone
It seemed it was over
She was finally done
Her treacherous husband
was nowhere to see
And so ends our tale
of Virginia Lee